The Heart of a Child
My wife has been on crutches long enough that it threw our entire family off when we saw her on just one crutch or with no crutches. The first day of the transition to one crutch my wife was home with our 2-year-old. Our youngest girl followed Mommy around all day carrying her other “crunch” saying, “Mommy you forgot your crunch!” Other times she would find Mommy in the kitchen and push her rolling stool towards her and say so sweetly, “Mommy sit down.”
Little kids have HUGE hearts and want to help out however they can. The concern of our 2-year-old was evident when she tried to make sure that her Mommy was taken care of. Our 7-year-old has been equally as attentive and has also incorporated the injury into her role play. The other day we found her in a chair, leg propped up, ice bag on leg and play crutches at her side.
As sweet as they are to their Mama they can sure get testy which each other. The littlest disagreement can send the 2-year-old into a screeching fit against her older sister. The same children who only moments earlier had been so sweet to their Mom are now having a screeching fit over a doll or some other toy.
My wife and I are constantly thanking the children for their sweet attitude and then correcting them when disagreements arise. This is commonplace for most homes but there is an interesting parallel between the heart of a child and the behavior of adults.
As adults we can do amazingly kind and compassionate things for each other. From small acts of kindness to loving sacrifice, we reflect the love of God to our family, neighbors, church, and friends. But catch us in the wrong place or time and you might possibly see a different side of us, just like a child. An example…
How many times have you seen adults bicker on Facebook or other online interactive sites? People who in real life are good and kind will sometimes say things online that they would never say in ‘real life.’ The buffer of cyberspace transforms us into a child with no obvious discernment in the words we are typing. Seeing grown men and women bicker over religion, politics, or current issues and call each other idiots, trash, etc. is highly disappointing behavior. Through their repeated encounters with various people, some seem to take great joy in bullying or baiting others to stoop to their level of foolishness.
We would all do well to seek out the example of the heart of a child. Bask in the warm glow of the love they give. Observe their quarrels and make sure we don’t appear to be acting in the same manner. And forgive. Our girls can be screeching at each other and after some correction and a hug they go off and enjoy an afternoon of playing peacefully. Adults could work for a long time to capture that attitude of forgiveness when mistakes are made. (Our preacher gave an excellent lesson on this topic on Sunday evening. Give it a listen – “How Blessed Are Forgivers” See what you miss when you don’t go to church in the evening :))
If online confrontation is an issue for you, here are some suggestions that I have employed that seem to help:
- Not everything needs a response. Some folks are just trying to start a fight, so don’t given them any fuel. Their fire will eventually die out or they will move on to another topic. My parents always told me the best way to stop a bully is to ignore them. This is true in most cases.
- It is OK to ‘unfriend’ or ‘unfollow’ people. If the stuff they put up online bugs you then unfriend them. Hard feelings can also be avoided by simply remaining their friend but unsubscribing from any posts or material they put up.
- If you find yourself constantly entangled in “debates” with people, perhaps you need someone who will filter your responses. Bounce your ideas off someone before posting them to avoid unnecessary quarrels. A lot of time and energy is wasted in pointless arguments online.
- Some people really enjoy online arguments and view them as no big deal, others feel very wounded by the words. Make sure you recognize your own feelings and those of the other people you are engaging.
- Consider how you would feel if your children saw your comments. I don’t have teenagers, but a time is coming soon when my kids will see what I comment on, like, share, etc.
- Keep it positive. I enjoy time on social media sharing encouraging words, family updates, neat ideas, and useful info. I use tools like SocialFixer to filter out posts about various topics I don’t care to see. Keep your posts positive and use online tools to filter out things you prefer not to see.
- Take a break. Real life and Facebook are two very different things. I enjoy taking the occasional break from social media to focus my energy where it is supposed to be.
And something that is always good…spend time in the Word! I continue the Dinnertime Devotionals series with the second installment of our study in Ephesians – Dinnertime Devotionals 31
I appreciate your blog. Your words are certainly wise for those who want to forgive. Unfortunately, I know that some individuals determine to pilfer and destroy to reach a “compassionate audience”. In the end, is it worth the trashing of relationships to win a battle? As you stated in your posting, I believe the Word of God would be sufficient. Keep up the good work. I enjoy your sound and informative messages.
Thanks Anthony! And I agree…we will come across those in life who are dead set on “winning” at all costs. From words online, to business dealings, and even in family matters…some feel that they must always ‘prove’ they are right. Reminds me a lot of the interactions of our girls. They are young and don’t realize there is a time to ‘pick your battles’ and that some things just don’t need to be argued about. Sometimes we have to tell them to be quiet. I have found myself in situations where I wish someone had just told me to be quiet as well 🙂 I appreciate your encouraging words!
AMEN, Jon