Sometimes it is good to stop and think about what we are saying.  This past Sunday I was having a nice conversation with a gentleman at church.  He paid me a compliment about my blog and said, “I’m enjoying the dickens out of your writing.”  That sparked another conversation with a woman sitting nearby about clichéd sayings and their origins.

Do you know what the ‘dickens’ is?  The gentleman I was talking to on Sunday got curious and looked it up.  Dickens is a euphemism for devil.  Put that in context…  That hurts like the devil, I’m enjoying the devil out of that, etc.  I had always thought dickens was a reference to Charles Dickens or something like that.  Its funny how we all say things that we don’t fully understand.

There is a two word phrase that I hear kids saying all the time that bugs me to no end.  They don’t seem to grasp what they are saying, or not saying.  I hear them say, “What the…?” all the time.  If you have kids in the 7-12 year old range you probably hear it too.

To you it may be no big deal, but to me it is a leading statement that just leaves off the foul word.  The phrase is always said with a leading tone that leads the mind to imagine any number of words completing the statement.  Typical endings would be ‘what the he**’ or ‘what the f*&!’.  I think this phrase bothers me the most because I hear young kids using it all the time.

If you’ve ever sat down to watch some of the pre-teen shows on Disney or Nickelodeon, they use the phrase ‘what the…’ quite a bit.  Its part of a general trend of euphemisms that is moving away from the standard ‘heck’ and ‘shoot’ to different variants.  A perfect example is the advertisements for Booking.com.  Have you seen them?  You don’t have to watch the video below…you could just skip it.  But if you’re a parent and you haven’t seen these ads it might be good to know exactly what is out there…

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So, when you heard the word ‘booking’ did you catch the subtle (or not so subtle) implication?  Yeah, I know you did.  Some advertising exec came up with the idea to use the word ‘booking’ in place of the f-word. A quick search of the phrase ‘what the…’ lends the same results: what the frick, what the frock, what the bleep, what the duck, etc.

Most teenagers understand what phrases like ‘what the…’ really are and what they imply.  But young kids don’t.  I can’t tell you how many 7,8 and 9 year olds I have talked with this summer at camp and other youth outings about using this phrase.  These are all great kids with really good parents who for one reason or another haven’t told their kids not to say this phrase.  Perhaps the parents don’t understand the implication, but more than likely they don’t know how to tell their inquisitive child what is wrong with this phrase.  Here are some tips for having a conversation about the things we say:

• The youngest of kids can sometimes pick up vulgar words or sayings, especially if they have older siblings.  In this situation they might be too young to understand reason and meaning.  Don’t dig the hole deeper, just set limits for them.  Tell them that word or phrase is unacceptable and not to be used.  Consequences would be the next logical step.
• Older children are inquisitive and like to ask questions and have reasons.  Use this to your advantage.  Ask them about things they say.  What does it mean? Why did you say it?  Should you say it?  What do other people think of you when you say that?  Is there something better you could say?
• Don’t freak out.  Part of learning for a child is figuring out how to push mom and dad’s buttons.  If you freak out when they say a swear word or vulgar phrase, they have found a button.  Stay calm and use reason and patience to fix this situation.
• Be clear about your expectations.  As kids get older it is no secret that they are going to hear swear words at school, on the playground, or even from other parents.  For example, you might say, “I know that you hear bad words from other kids at school, but I expect you to behave better than other kids and find smarter words to use in expressing yourself.”
• Model the behavior you expect.  If you don’t want your kids to say the word ‘crap’ then you should stop saying it too.  Kids learn by watching and listening to mom and dad.  I know I’ve been embarrassed by my 1-year-old parroting crass things that might slip out of my mouth from time to time.
• Incorporate some verses about the subject into your family Bible study time.  A quick list would include Colossians 3:8, Ephesians 4:29, Matthew 15:10-11, James 3:10, Matthew 12:36-37, Ephesians 5:4, James 3:6-8.

I hope this helps.  A good number of you might have read this post because the title is not something you would expect me to say.  My point is made.  The things that we say and do have implications upon the way people perceive us.  Let’s be careful with that we say and teach our kids about good and wholesome speech.  Next week I’ll be writing about OMG.  But for now, how about spending some time in the Bible with your family >>> Week 32 – Mephibosheth