Just about everyone I know is CRAZY busy.  We live in a country that is abundantly blessed with opportunity and wealth.  With all sorts of things fighting for time on our schedule, someone is bound to feel cheated by not getting the time and energy they deserve.  One of my favorite reminders about prioritizing life is a little book by Andy Stanley called Choosing to Cheat.  I’d like to share a few thoughts from the book and at the end of the post I have some photos of my family putting the advice into action…

The Premise

Through years of pre-marital and marital counseling, Andy Stanley developed his philosophy about choosing to cheat.  Sound odd?  Yes, cheating and marriage are not something we typically associate together, but a good number of us are already cheating our families and spouses.  When we confuse ‘stuff’ with love and security we quickly find ourselves in a cycle of having to work more to afford all the ‘stuff’ that has replaced love. In our lives there is no way we can accomplish everything there is to do.  This will leave someone feeling cheated.  Who will it be?

Choosing to Cheat focuses on resetting priorities and decisions.  Several real world examples are given of CEOs, housewives, and coaches who lost what was most important along the way.  The book can be read in an hour or two by an average reader but packs a punch in 125 short pages.

Why I Love This Book!

Andy Stanley and I would not see eye to eye on matters of theology, but his books about life and leadership are phenomenal.  Visioneering, his book on leadership, is a resource I turn to often.  It was the first book I read as part of my MBA.  Choosing to Cheat is another resource I have often quoted or used examples from.  Just this week I was asked to do a wedding vow renewal and I used an example from Choosing to Cheat about the pressures that pull on us from various directions.  I have referenced and quoted this little book more often than just about any other.

Choosing to Cheat also provides a message that is very important for a minister.  Balancing ministry and family can be a challenging feat for even the most seasoned minister.  By the way, looking for more information about life-balance for ministers?  Check out “A System Created For Sin” by Matthew Morine.  Matt is a preacher in Colorado and did a phenomenal job of writing about the hole that a minister can dig themselves into.

Choosing to Cheat constantly reminds me that it is OK to leave things to finish on another day.  Our society has become so accustomed to immediate responses and constant contact that if a phone call goes without response for a day a search party may be sent out.  There is no way that this urgency and need for immediate response can be healthy.

Choosing to Cheat in Action

I prize my relationship with my employer.  Over the years I have built a relationship of trust with the leadership of our church.  They know that I take my ministry very seriously but that my family comes before others.  I have seen too many ministers sacrifice their family for the sake of the church.  Such a shame!

Taking a day off or working from home are some of the common ways I make sure that my family doesn’t feel cheated.  Today I’m working from home so I can help my wife as she tries to get things done.  I can work on a Bible lesson and start a load of laundry.  It’s not rocket science but it does take time, effort, and energy.  This week our oldest daughter had Wednesday off from school so I took the day off so we could make our annual trip to the State Fair of Texas.  Wednesdays are one of my busiest days but with the knowledge that it will all get done I took the day off to be with my family.

Are there some people at my work who feel cheated that I take time off to be with my family?  Perhaps.  When I am off with my family and voices of doubt pop into my head about taking time off, I drive them away with the knowledge that I am precisely where I need to be.

What About You?

The question comes around to you.  Who are you cheating?  Perhaps you have already managed to strike a perfect work/life balance.  Congrats!  The other 99.9% of us will continue to fight the constant battle whether we work in an office, at home, or are retired.  In your quest to find balance you might want to check out Choosing to Cheat or the newer, full-length book When Work and Life Collide: Keeping Your Job From Cheating Your Family.

Disclaimer: I am not compensated by Andy Stanley, I just really like this book.  I purchased Choosing to Cheat with my own money, years ago, and have read it again and again.

After a rather serious post I thought it would be fun to share some photos of our family putting this knowledge into action.  Here are a few of my favorite photos from our trip to the State Fair of Texas!